"...On Taking up Space"
Monday, February 13, 2012 at 12:53PM by witchymorgan
(originally published on atriptothemorg.wordpress.com)
I went to a party the other night for a friend of a friend who was celebrating his first anniversary of being on T. I was in a room full of gender-varient queers with awesome music playing and lots of hotties to look at. Why, then, did I feel so alone in that space? These people, ostensibly, are my peers. They are my comrades-at-arms against cissexism and heteropatriarchy. What was the problem?
And then I realized that there were only 3 women of color (you know we were in a group the whole time) at the party, myself included, and no transwomen, brown or otherwise. The room was full of white transmen and queer women. And many of them live in JP, the same neighborhood that the party was held. A neighborhood that has been historically a community of mostly Black and Latin@ working class people. And yet here are all these white, upwardly mobile queers gentrifying (read: internal colonization) the hood and they didn’t even have the decency to have any sort of real diversity?
More to the point, this party was explicitly billed as a queer/trans party celebrating someone’s transmasculine identity. And while the party in and of itself isn’t bad (aside from my reaction to if being on of discomfort), you can invite who ever the eff you want to your party, I think that it says a lot about that general trends of what is visible in the queer/trans community. And that is that it is mostly white and mostly transmasculine.
And don’t give me that, “Oh we reached out to communities of color but they didn’t come! It’s their fault for not participating!” Because that is just bullshit. The reason why POC don’t show up for your event/party/campaign etc is because there is no space made for them. Why would anyone want to enter a space where their voices, histories and thoughts are ignored? Why would anyone want to enter a space where folks were committing microagressions left and right? Moreover, who would want to be in a space that has historically excluded them?
I think one of the things that the white queer/trans community fails to realize is that there are many communities held within the queer community. And as such, one can’t expect the queer experience to be universal or think that all queers want the same thing. I couldn’t care less if middle-upper class white gays get to marry. That’s just not salient to me. I do care about non-discrimination legislations (although not hate crimes legislation cause that shit doesn’t work and it just adds black and brown bodies to the PIC). I do care about affordable housing and access to healthcare and educational/job opportunities. These are the things that are important in my life.
But all the time, energy and money is spent trying to get marriage equality and why is that? Because it is the thing that effects white people the most. The folks who participate and run Gay, Inc (read: HRC) already have access to safe housing, healthcare, education etc. The single issue politics involved in advocating for marriage equality just alienating and frustrating because the purport to speak for the whole of the queer community when, in fact, they only speak for a small section of it.
And to add insult to injury, if one creates a space for black and brown queers only or focus on the accomplishments of queer people of color, white people get butt hurt and insist that they be included because it would be “racist” otherwise. They won’t make a space for us with them (and if they do it tokenizing) and when we do it for ourselves, they feel entitled to that space.
I write this so that my white sisters and brothers (and others with privileged identities like being able bodied, wealthy, male etc) will understand that they take up space by default and that their voices, histories, thoughts and opinions are given precedence over POC voices. I want my white allies to not only be anti-racist but to be aware of how they are taking up space. I want my white allies to be able to co-create room for POC voices.I want my queer/trans white allies to have the concerns of POC in the forefront of their minds while the plan campaigns.Most of all, I want my white allies to check other white people on their white privilege and tell them if they are taking up to much space so that a POC doesn’t have too. This is because it is not our responsibility to educate white folks on white privilege, which is often a very pain process for us, it is yours.
And I also want my fierce queer/trans people of color to come together and make space for ourselves. I want to see more transwomen of color coming together in sisterhood. I want to see transmen of color come together for brotherhood. And I want us all to come together to keep each other safe, supported, and loved. I want us to come out of the alienating space of white queerness that doesn’t have a critical analysis of race, which tokenizes us and keeps us separated, and unite so that we can create self-actualizing communities that feed us.
Communities that give us the strength to fight this battle called racism in america and win.
Morgan Robyn Collado is from the bitter, cold land of Boston, Massachusetts. There, she learned the secrets and Mysteries of Social Justice and Brujería at the knee of her 9th grade biology teacher. After graduating high school and the passing of her beloved teacher, she found that there was nothing more she could learn in Boston. So, she called on the power of her Diosa and built a new world around her. It was filled with love, community, anti-racism and warm weather. And slow but surely, she is introducing this microcosm to the rest of the world.
bois, bois will be bois, guest post
Reader Comments (6)
This is one of the most brilliantly written rants i've ever read! Please keep ranting!
--The Ignant Intellectual
'tear' i wish everyone could grasp the bigger picture so we can really free ourselves of these mental blocks because there are no limits to what we deserve and are capable of achieving
Extremely insightful and HONEST! Loved you writing and will be sharing. :)
Thank you for writing this. I've decided to spend my mornings self educating while I sit in class not listening to my professor read off her pre-written slides. I will definitely be sharing this on my blog.
Hey, I hear you and what you're saying, and I agree and admire your ability to eloquently express yourself.
Can I ask you for your input and guidance?
I am aware of white privilege, and try to point it out to other white people when relevant, but every discussion I've ever had -- in single- and mixed-race settings -- has always been in theoretical terms.
I need help because, when history, culture, individualized contexts, and countless other factors play into every interaction every person has with another person, how can I place theory into practice in a way that doesn't feel like tokenization, even if it is not intended as such? On a personal, day-to-day level, is treating everyone with respect and love and kindness enough?
I feel like I'm missing something else, like what I'm currently doing isn't enough, and I don't know how to make it enough. I'd really like to hear your thoughts.
Hey Amelia,
Thanks for you comment. Your question is definitely a good one. What I basically see you asking is how to be a good ally. The best thing, I think, that allies can do is to be aware of how much space they take especially in mixed-race situations. Because this world doesn't give space to QTPOC folks, its important that when we are having these sorts of discussions that POC voices are given priority and are heard. The other thing that is SUPER helpful is for white allies to tackle other people's white privilege. It is very, very painful, at least in my experience, to tackle white people's privilege because they end up getting defensive, invalidate my experience and in those actions continue to perpetuate racial violence against POC. We need white allies to teach white people about their privilege.
The mark of a good ally is that they LISTEN. They listen whole-heartedly and understand that because racism completely encapsulates their existence, they are going to have better first hand knowledge of how it looks, feels and manifests. Put in another way, because POC can never choose to ignore or escape from racism, they are going to know on a much deeper level what is and isn't racist. So if you feel that you might be tokenizing a POC then ask them how the feel about it and go from there. Also understand that POC are not a monolith so what might bother one POC might not bother another POC.
Beyond the day to day interactions, if you feel like you need to do more, then go join campaigns and organize in solidarity, not charity, with POC. Get involved in the struggle for liberation.
In the end, and this is the unfortunate part, there is only so much allies can do because of the long history of genocide and oppression. Knowing that that long history won't be erased or rectified with the actions of a single person (it would take systemic changes) and recognizing that might help.
En la Lucha,
Morgan Robyn